Accepting who you really are
I am 34 years old and by most professional standards, have succeeded in the early stages of my career. At one point, I was one of the youngest Directors at our public company. At 25 years old I was responsible for instrumenting delivery against more than $200MM in annual revenue. I now run the delivery operations for the largest growth region in our quickly-evolving tech firm.
However, for the first 10+ years of my professional career, I found myself too blind to realize my own strengths and too ignorant to capitalize on them. Once I learned to accept and embrace my natural being (while remaining aware of my weak spots), my career took off.
How did I land in Operations?
I successfully interned at a large technology and media company in college and recieved an offer to come on full time. When presented with the job offer, the recruiter asked which track I wanted to work in - Technology or Operations. I had no idea what Ops was (I had interned in the technology track was studying information systems in college), but it was described to me as “the intersection of people and process.” Something about that appealed to me and I went for it.
I viewed Operations as a more logical fit for what I felt most qualified for, but in reality (and retrospect), I struggled with imposter syndrome. I was worried that I had somehow ‘faked it’ well enough for 10+ weeks and that this company thought I could actually be a technologist. At my core I thought I could not and was scared I’d fail. Operations seemed ‘softer’ and easier, but the truth is, it was more aligned with my DNA, I just didn’t know it yet. Nonetheless, I joined a fast-paced leadership development program with a group of highly qualified industrial engineers from top-tier universities and embarked on the first steps of my professional career.
In our fourth week of ‘boot camp’ (onboarding) I gave a presentation to the senior management team who had flown in to review our case study. I talked about how we should operationalize a struggling part of the business and provided the steps to do so. It bombed. This was perhaps the worst presentation I have ever given. I left completely mortified. Later that day, as I sat in shock on my hotel bed, I received a call on the room landline from the program coordinator. I picked up thinking I would get fired. I was completely unqualified for this role. Instead, she said, “_______ was quite impressed with your presentation but more importantly with your responses to his questions. He wants to mentor you. Are you OK with this?” I was shocked and in awe. “Of course, but is he sure he is calling the right person?” I asked.
Fast forward several years and many mentorship meetings later, I am left reflecting on what I learned from my complicated entry to the professional world.
If you don’t believe in yourself initially, that’s OK.
Someone else believing in you goes a long way. Remember this when you are in a position of power and seniority. If your guidance can jumpstart someone’s career, do it. Just know that it becomes your own burden at some point to believe in yourself.
That call from my mentor (quite literally) saved my first year in the professional workforce. It lit a fire within me, a belief that I could do this because someone else believed it.
Competition is good, if you are a competitor.
I knew I wasn’t smarter or more qualified than the 22 other members of my program. But I also knew I would outwork them. I leaned on my years of athletics captaincy and other leadership roles to hold my own. I learned a ton about operations (core principles, methodologies, strategies) that no classroom had ever taught me. I grew from this and never stopped competing. I also began to find it very, very cool.
I couldn’t have asked for a better entry to professional life than I received in this leadership development program. I was forced into an outcome-based program designed on ‘meritocracy.’ At times it felt ruthless - the bottom 10% of each performance review were usually let go from the company and the top 20% were given ample opportunities. The middle 70% were left to fight it out amongst one another for higher rankings. It was like the 2010 version of Squid Game (okay, maybe not that intense).
As an athlete and competitor, I thrived in this environment (not everyone does). At my core, this is who I am. I know this much about myself - I will always outwork the room - and I did.
I ended the program in the top 10% of the class and have gone on to accelerate through many operational roles since then.
Imposter syndrome is okay until it is not.
Paranoia can be healthy but can also be debilitating in both your professional and personal life.
There were entire years where I went to work everyday thinking I was going to get fired. Literally, every single day. Then suddenly, something changed. I can’t explain it, nor can I justify it, but I somehow slayed this dragon.
I entered the professional workworld with an intense amount of imposter syndrome and it took years to chip away at.
Staying hungry is good, staying scared is not. It quickly becomes counterproductive.
Stop fighting yourself.
At your core, you know where you excel and where you don’t.
Position yourself where you know you can succeed and believe in your own abilities while doing that. Use the tools that you naturally have.
Don’t let people talk you out of your own skillset. You will always be more successful doing what you are naturally designed for vs. doing what you think you should be good at, but are not.
A great source of inspiration (and confirmation bias) was this Youtube clip (34:00) with a prominent blogger I follow (Dickie Bush) and the CEO of Gumroad (Sahil Lavingia). Sahil’s comments are about “finding those things that are already true about you and leaning into them” and are spot on.
In summary, understand what tools are on your toolbelt then refine them constantly. You will always be better than the next person if you embrace who you really are and leverage it.
